Thursday, November 1, 2012

November's Here Again

The month of love, happiness and cheer is finally here again. You might remember my talking about it with a lot of gusto last year. In fact that one's by far my most read post till date (refer to the side panel on the right for proof). That just indicates the fact that people, no matter where they live or what they do, definitely dig happiness in life. Everyone wants to be happy, to be made to smile, to have some reason to remain joyful every day of the year. Again, who wouldn't!

But it's been a year since that post. And like I've been reiterating a lot lately,
To some, a year is just another sixtieth of an entire lifetime.
To others, it's an entire lifetime in itself.
You would've guessed by now that this November I am not excited. Nothing's able to make my innards jump up with joy these days. Or weeks. Or was it months? Anyhow. I've learned a lot over these past few months. Still learning in fact. I'm learning the various avails of independence - emotional and professional - in making you a better, more self-aware person. I'm learning tolerance and total submission to the wildest wills of God. I'm getting used to the inconsistency and instability of life and its various aspects. Nothing's permanent. Things change a lot over time. And if one isn't able to deal with the changes, what did one really achieve in life, right?

It isn't like November hasn't come with enough causes of happiness to me. I just landed a job today. I've been traveling a lot lately, and another couple of trips are lined up in the near future. I also have ample stuff to write about, and am in talks with a magazine for an editor and a writer's job. My engineering is finally coming to an end in another few months. Life is gradually but steadily transitioning into one I have no premonition of. I should be excited, or afraid, or sad, or anxious of what's gonna happen. I am not. I'm more or less blank, regarding the present and what the future holds for me. Life never goes the way you most expect it to, then why even bother to have any expectations?

'Go with the flow' has always been my mantra in life. Let things happen to you. Get lost somewhere, make a lot of mistakes, do things you aren't proud of, learn from experiences, let time heal wounds and let your imagination run wild. But never regret anything in life. Enjoy every phase of it. And I guess that's what I'm really trying to do right now. Trying hard to adjust to things, to accept some changes and to be happy. But trying too hard never came with good results. I need to let go at some point, I've realized. Need to 'go with the flow' like I always do. I'm thinking too much, smiling too less. I'm giving leverage to people who don't really deserve it, thinking about things that shouldn't bog me down as much as they do. I need to liven up. Question is, how.

I don't expect an answer to it though. I know I'll figure it out soon enough. November's always been MY month. It sort of defines me, my life and my temperament. It cannot stay outside of me for long. And it has just begun. I'm sure things will look up, and I'll be back with a super-happy, super-excited post very soon. Come on, show your magic, November dear!


P.S. All opinions expressed above are a result of the innermost workings of my twisted mind. And exams are on, so my logic is anyway contorted due to an overload of information bytes and severe nerve fiber congestion. Do NOT attempt to read between the lines or ask me anything about it. Just wait for the sun to shine bright outside my window someday soon. Because for now, there's nothing but cold November rain.
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